New Sticker Thursday!

Wow wow wow! Three posts in one day? Boy are you lucky! Well when my creativity candle is burning, it burns at a full 16 lumens...and smells like sugar cookie.

Today is New Sticker Thursday! because I made new stickers and it's Thursday...

As I creep and crawl in traffic while commuting to and from work, I see all these giant SUV's with these oval stickers that say 26.2 and 13.1. It just plain makes me angry. Isn't it hypocritical or at least ironic to wield on your 8 passenger SUV that you are driving alone, a sticker that proclaims you are into running for long distances? Blasphemous! Shouldn't that be on your $40 running shirt instead?

Today, that problem is solved. I fixed it for you. Two stickers you can justifiably mount on your Tahoe without any irony.

Blammo. 13.1....Miles Per Gallon. Available at http://www.cafepress.com/13point1mpg


26.2...miles per gallon...for your hybrid Tahoe. suuuure. Available at http://www.cafepress.com/26point2mpg

Each sticker is $5.oo. A small price to pay for truth.

My first car design: the pinewood derby

I can't remember anything about Cub Scouts except for the pinewood derby. For those unaware, this event involves scouts and/or their parents designing and creating a vehicle from a block of wood to compete with others on a sloped track, powered only by gravity. It was probably the most fun I had in Cub Scouts.

It was highly competitive then as well as now. There are many books and websites full of engineering strategies to get the most performance out of your car. I would say most often the fathers would take over the projects to have the coolest design or fastest car. I remember being stunned at the works of art that were produced while mine looked like a very fat doorstop.

Despite my present prodigious design and craftsmanship abilities, when I was 9 or 10, as you can tell by the photos I had zero design or engineering ideas and my only carpentry skill was the ability to keep my fingers attached to my hand. Believe it or not, I made this car mostly by myself. I think I had help sanding the mold lines off the wheels and drilling holes to help the car make weight at weigh ins.

There was no design. I copied the generic drawing that was in the included instructions. All the cuts were made with a coping saw which accounts for no cut being straight and no angle matching another. There are visible saw marks and gouges in the wood. I must have only had 60 grit sandpaper because the sanding marks are still visible. The inexplicable Tarheel blue painted body still has fingerprint marks where I handled the car wet. The silver stripe is painted freehand and the painted yellow headlights look like they are dripping. The wheels sport a heavy negative camber. Apparently I couldn't hammer a nail in straight either.

So how did I do? Half the time one of the wheels fell off, causing the entire car to fly off the track. But ages later I still have it. It sure is terrible, but at least I made it myself.

Thong Made in USA. My new design.

Now that I have your attention, yes that is my new design on a thong made in the USA. I bet my mom is really proud (please don't buy one Mom!). The Chinese characters are in a patriotic red, white, and blue and translate to: "Made in the USA" in simplified Chinese characters. If anyone has a problem with the translation, go talk to my parents.

This logo is only available on http://www.cafepress.com/MADE_IN_THE_USA_IN_CHINESE on products only Made in the USA. Hence one t-shirt, one jr jersey, one jr hoody, a dog shirt, and the aforementioned thong. It is also available on decals, hopefully also made in the USA, but if it isn't, make up for it by sticking it to something Made in the USA, like the current Ford Focus.

There is a lot of patriotic "made in the USA" products out there, ironically not made in the USA. SO here is mine, designed and Made in the USA. Please buy some and send to your friends in China. But not the dog shirt. The Chinese don't use food wrappers. I kid.